This Love
by cookietme7
Summary: Jude's been in London for six months, and her first new single is being released. It's a two parter inspired by "This Love" by The Veronicas, and it's relatively short. First part is Jude, second part is Tommy.
1. She

This is kind of a songfic, but not quite. The story is independent of the lyrics, but the song has meaning in the story. Yeah... that didn't really make sense, did it? Just enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own _Instant Star_ or the lyrics to The Veronicas' "This Love".

She's riding in the limo on the way to her first concert in London.  
Sure, she's had public appearances and press conferences, but this is her true breakout into the media world since she left Toronto six months ago.

Six months.  
Half a year.  
Seems like an awful long time.

And it was awful, for her, at first. She felt guilty, alone, and unsure. She was scared. She was doubtful. She needed some sign of vindication, something to tell her, '_It's ok, you made the right choice_.'  
She thought it would come through her music, so she wrote non-stop. At first it was hard, without him there to look over her words or help her rearrange, but then she let go.

Well, not of everything. Not of the memories, not of _him_. But she let go of the judgmental side of her. The side that screamed she was an eighteen year-old idiot who let her fame and freedom drag her away from the people she needed. That longed to break her down and send her running back to Toronto, tail between her legs.

And then, like she was born to, she poured her soul into the tattered journal that clung to its last few pages, its worn inscription a constant reminder of why she did what she did:

_Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us_.

That, ultimately, is what solidified her decision to leave.  
That is also why she figured a part of him would understand. He had given her that journal, marked with his simple handwriting with those words. He had urged her to share her music with the world.  
And he had loved her.

So while the time was awful at first, it was not all that long. Not long enough to forget him, or make him just a friend in her mind.  
He would never be "just" anything to her, ever.  
It wasn't long enough to allow the doubt to overtake her and send her home.  
It wasn't long enough to make her quit.

So she filled that journal with her feelings, her fears, her insecurities and her secrets. She played those songs for her producer and for her manager, and they were good, but it wasn't until she showcased a particular song that she found herself excited over her first London-born single.

The song had occupied the last page of her old journal. It had been hard to write, but it was truthful. She thought it was foolish when she looked it over and she thought it was naïve. But the truth was it was raw and heartfelt and she was almost ashamed of expressing her feelings this way.

So now, as she hears it on the radio in her limo on the way to her first concert in half a year, she simply asks the driver to turn up the volume.

_**I, I,  
I can see it in your eyes  
Taste it in our first kiss  
Stranger in this lonely town (this lonely town)  
Save me from my emptiness (save me)**_

_**You took my hand  
You told me it would be ok  
I trusted you to hold my heart  
Now fate is pulling me away, from you**_

_**Even if I leave you now  
And it breaks my heart  
Even if I'm not around  
I won't give in  
I can't give up  
On this love**_

_**You've become a piece of me  
Makes me sick to even think  
Of mornings waking up alone  
Searching for you in my sheets  
Don't fade, away**_

_**Even if I leave you now  
And it breaks my heart  
Even if I'm not around  
I won't give in (won't give in)  
I can't give up (can't give up)  
On this love**_

_**I can't just close the door  
(on this love)  
I never felt anything like this before  
(like this love)  
Tell me the truth no matter what we're going through  
Will you hold on too 'cause**_

_**Even if I leave you now  
And it breaks my heart  
Even if I'm not around  
I won't give in  
I can't give up  
On this love**_

_**Even if I leave you now (leave you now)  
And it breaks my heart  
Even if I'm not around (not around)  
I won't give in (won't give in)  
I can't give up (can't give up)  
I won't give in (won't give in)  
I can't give up (can't give up)  
On this love**_

She hopes that when her song reaches Toronto, he will understand.

* * *

I'm gonna hold off on posting the second part just for a day or so, just to generate some interest. Review to let me know you want it!


	2. He

Alright, well I guess I was hoping for more than three reviews (I see all you people who read without commenting! :D) but anyways, glad those of you who wrote did like the beginning. Without further ado... here's part two. Hope it doesn't disappoint!

* * *

He's driving in his Porsche, top down, shades on, radio humming in the background.  
It's been six months since he's taken the Viper out onto the streets.

Six months.  
Half a year.  
Seems like an awful long time.

And it was awful, for him, at first. He felt betrayed, confused, and hurt. He was apathetic. He was broken. He needed some explanation as to why things happened that way, something to tell him '_It'll be ok, it wasn't your fault_.'

And as tempting as it was, he knew it wouldn't come through alcohol. He knew it wouldn't come through faceless women or running away. So he produced non-stop. At first it was hard, without her on the other side of the glass. But he threw himself into work. Maybe a little extreme, but it wasn't unhealthy. He immersed himself into music and the world of lyrics and melodies, and he finally let go.

Well, not of everything. Not of the memories, not of _her_. But he let go of the insecure side of him. The side that screamed that he was an emotionally scarred adult who wasn't capable of love. That dared him to run to London, angry or hurt or desperate.

And then, like he loved to, he worked every song to perfection. He tired out his artists and worked late nights, but he would always emerge with the perfect song and a smiling band. He thought of a sentence he once wrote inside a new journal, a constant reminder of why he did what he did:

_Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us._

That, ultimately, is what solidified his decision to stay.  
That is also why a part of him understood. He had given her that journal to remind her to always share her music with the world. And he had to do his part by producing new music to be shared.  
It wasn't quite the same though, because he had loved her.

So while the time was awful at first, it was not all that long. Not long enough to forget her, or make her just a friend in his mind.  
She would never be "just" anything to him, ever.  
It wasn't long enough to allow the loneliness to overtake him and send him overseas.  
It wasn't long enough to make him quit.

So he produced those songs and shared his feelings, his fears, his insecurities and his secrets with his friends. Kwest, Sadie, and even Jamie was there for him. He and Jamie built a mutual understanding and a relationship one notch shy of friendship. But Jamie was still the head of NBR, so he showed Jamie many of his artists' songs in hopes of getting approval for a single.

And as he watched his artists slave over their own books, he passed a book store one day and made a purchase. He didn't know whether he'd ever actually send it to her, but he bought it anyway. He thought it was foolish and when he decided on his new words for the inside cover, he thought he was naïve. But the truth was that he couldn't bear to let someone else buy one for her and he figured if nothing else, she was probably just about done with her old one anyway.

So now, when he hears her name come through the speakers and a song begin to play as he drives to the studio, he turns up the volume.

_**I, I,  
****I can see it in your eyes  
****Taste it in our first kiss  
Stranger in this lonely town (this lonely town)  
Save me from my emptiness (save me)**_

_**You took my hand  
You told me it would be ok  
I trusted you to hold my heart  
Now fate is pulling me away, from you**_

_**Even if I leave you now  
And it breaks my heart  
Even if I'm not around  
I won't give in  
I can't give up  
On this love**_

_**You've become a piece of me  
Makes me sick to even think  
Of mornings waking up alone  
****Searching for you in my sheets  
Don't fade, away**_

_**Even if I leave you now  
And it breaks my heart  
Even if I'm not around  
I won't give in (won't give in)  
I can't give up (can't give up)  
On this love**_

_**I can't just close the door  
(on this love)  
I never felt anything like this before  
(like this love)  
Tell me the truth no matter what we're going through  
Will you hold on too 'cause**_

_**Even if I leave you now  
And it breaks my heart  
Even if I'm not around  
I won't give in  
I can't give up  
On this love**_

_**Even if I leave you now (leave you now)  
And it breaks my heart  
Even if I'm not around (not around)  
I won't give in (won't give in)  
I can't give up (can't give up)  
I won't give in (won't give in)  
I can't give up (can't give up)  
On this love**_

He understands, and with a smile he plans to send her the new journal tomorrow, deciding on adding something to his inscription:

_I'm not giving up either._

_

* * *

_I've always admired these kinds of parallel stories, though I gotta admit when I set out to write to this song this isn't what I imagined ending up with. I'm kind of proud of it, though. Read and review! :


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